| death, God, and an amazing dream |
[Feb. 12th, 2008|11:41 pm] |
| [ | I feel |
| |  contemplative | ] |
So I know its been a long time since I've been on, and I dont even know if anyone I know on here still keeps up with LJ either but for some reason I'm compelled to write tonight so here we go...
first of all, I know its morbid, but I wanted to put my grandmothers obituary on here so that I'll always have it...
BLOOM, IRENE, 85
Ocala - Irene Bloom, 85, passed away on Monday, Feb. 4, 2008 at Sylvia's Hospice House. She was born in La Crosse, FL and moved to Ocala from Keystone Heights in 1985. She was a member of Central Baptist Church of Ocala and was retired from Wachovia Bank. She is survived by her husband Dr. Jesse D. Bloom of Ocala, her daughters, Sylvia Hatch of Ocala and Patsy Crumpton of Jacksonville, her granddaughter, Jenna Perry of Jacksonville and her grandson, Justin Perry of Sebring, her sisters, Rosa Lee Genovar of Gainesville and Lillian Mattingly of St. Augustine and her brothers, R. G. Thomas and Wilbur Thomas both of La Crosse. Funeral services will be held on Friday, Feb. 8, 2008 at 10:00 AM at Central Baptist Church with Dr. Andy Bloom officiating. Interment will be at Forest Lawn Memory Gardens. Visitation will be Thursday from 5-7 PM at Hiers Funeral Home, 910 SE Silver Springs Blvd. As founder and president, Dr. Bloom has asked that those who wish may make donations to Ocala Christian Academy.
Published in the Ocala Star-Banner from 2/6/2008 - 2/7/2008.
Secondly I wanted to share with everyone (or no one perhaps) a dream that I had last night.
I want to preface this by telling everyone that lately I've been having A LOT of bad/disturbing dreams, so much so that I haven't even wanted to go to sleep the past few nights. Well last night I went to bed and I prayed to God that I would have pleasant dreams so that I could finally get some rest. And this is the vivid dream I ended up having...
I was in New Zealand doing the tourist thing. My trip was coming to a close and I knew that I would have to go back to the states soon. I began getting this weird and horrifying feeling that my plane was going to go down on the way back. I knew I had to find another airline in order to avoid going down in a fiery ball, so I was running through the airport trying to find another airline that would take me back. I couldn't find one. Eventually I came upon this line of people. I asked someone what the line was for and I was told that it was to get a seat on the free airplane. But in order to get the one seat available, you had to take a test. But the test wasnt just any test, it was a test about God. You had to answer questions about God, Jesus and Christian beliefs. I stood in line and when it came time to take the test I only had 10 minutes in which to complete it. The test was 200 questions long. I did the best I could at the beginning but ended up christmas treeing it in order to finish in time. The pilot graded the tests and I got every single question right and won the free seat on the plane. I was relieved that I would be going home safely. Before taking me to the plane the pilot blind-folded me and then led me to my seat. I sat in this plane for 12 hours completely blind. When we got to the US the pilot took the blind-fold off and I looked around and saw that it was just me and the pilot in a tiny two seater plane. It terrified me that we had flown all that way in this tiny little plane but the pilot told me it was Gods plane. I then realized that my pilot was God. Thats when I woke up.
It was kind of an amazing feeling when I woke up to realize what I had dreamed about. In the dream I realized the danger of getting on the plane destined to go down in a fiery blaze. I was tested and accepted onto God's plane, which he flew for me but requested that I be blind to his path. He required my trust and faith that he would get me home safely. It felt like a metaphor for heaven and hell. Hell would have been to end up on that doomed plane that sent everyone to an agonizing death. But I chose Gods plane, Heaven. I can't know the path he has set out for me in my life (the blindfold) but I know that eventually the path will lead me home, to Heaven. Kind of amazing isn't it? |
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| I adore her! |
[Dec. 7th, 2006|08:35 am] |
| Witch Law and Order SVU detective are you? | 
Olivia Benson
Your Olivia! Your kind, caring, and loving. Your love life however isn't as good as your personaltity. But don't worry about it, your personality will eventually land you someone. Your past history isn't that good and you don't really like talking about it. You try to keep a cool head, but when someone needs your protection, your ready to kick ass and take names. | | Take The Quiz Now! | Quizzes by myYearbook.com |
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| been a super long time |
[Dec. 4th, 2006|07:45 am] |
| [ | Current Location |
| | j-ville | ] |
| [ | I feel |
| |  lonely | ] |
| [ | jamming to |
| | gary lewis and the playboys | ] |
I'm kinda bored and cant sleep so here I am, after months and months of silence...... I'm updating! Somewhere a pig is sprouting wings. Unfortunately, yes my life is this boring, nothing much has gone on since I last updated.
I graduated from FSU, so thats one thing. Now I live with my parents (aaahhhh) in J-ville while looking for a job, which is NOT easy let me tell you. Science is not the easiest field to break into completely unexperienced. I'm hoping to get a job with FDLE as a forensic technologist. Next Saturday I have to go take a test to see if I qualify for an open position in the firearms/toolmark identification section with the Jacksonville branch. So cross your fingers for me that I do well because I REALLY want this job, its my dream job.
Personal life is... well.. kinda lacking. I was seeing someone for a while but that died. Then I got myself in an aweful situation with someone else, but thank God that ended when I moved out of Tallahassee. Sometimes you dont see how bad your decisions are until you're distanced from them and have time to think.
I've been having crazy vivid dreams lately. I had one a few weeks ago about a guy I went to highschool with and then for like two days afterward I had this crazy crush on him, even though I havent seen him in over 4 years. It was super weird. Then last night I had this dream about someone I used to date and now I've got a crush on him again, which is something I do not want, since it took me a long time to get over him. Hopefully it will pass too. Dreams are funny things arent they? Its strange the way they can affect you.
Ok well, I suppose thats it! Take care all! |
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| (no subject) |
[Apr. 23rd, 2006|03:29 am] |
| [ | I feel |
| |  happy | ] |
| [ | jamming to |
| | Alexz Johnson- Natural Disaster | ] |
I just wanted to make a quick update before I go to bed.
I'm graduating on Friday! I'm finally getting my BS in Biology. I'm excited about it I guess. I dont really feel that much other than a slight sense of relief of not having to go to class anymore. Maybe I'll start feeling it more the closer I actually come to the ceremony.
Speaking of school, how stellar is it that in my last semester of college I have NO finals? I'm not quite sure how I got away with that but I did and I'm extremely grateful.
I got a promotion of sorts at work. I say of sorts because its not really, I got a second job within my job if that makes sense. Half the time at work I'll be doing the same ol' stuff I always did - pretty much nothing but standing around. But the other half of the time now I'm a PLANETARIUM INSTRUCTOR! How incredibly cool am I? I give shows to the public about constellations and planets and stuff, its an amazing job and it actually pays a lot more than host staff. So I got a raise as well. When I'm not narrating shows I'm giving laser light rock shows and I do special effects on them, its a lot of fun. I really cant believe my luck that I got that job.
And I probably shouldnt mention it on a public post just in case- but hey I'll be daring. My previous private post about a certain guy- well for those of you who read it you know what I mean and well..... its going really well now. And the obstacle I spoke of surprisingly hasnt reared its ugly head (yet but who knows in time). So I'm really happy with the way things are going with him. :)
Alright. thats just about it. I have to be to work in 7 hours so I need sleep. Good night! |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 6th, 2006|09:56 pm] |
Ok, I realize this is cheesy, but I really want to win a trip to London to see the set of Harry Potter 5 and meet the cast, so if you guys could vote for me, that'd be great....
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| the end of an era |
[Feb. 28th, 2006|07:43 pm] |
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Well we did it, we sold my house. My parents are happy with the price and I get to stay until I wanted, til July. So everybody's happy and excited. I just hope the new owners take good care of it. They were very nice and I liked them a lot so I'm guessing they'll be good to her. It sold in 8 days, can you believe it? I put it up last Monday and now its sold. I'm going to miss this house though, its been my home for so long now. Oh well, on to bigger and better things I guess. |
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| my aunt died |
[Feb. 23rd, 2006|06:35 am] |
I've been pretty busy so I couldnt update til now, but my great aunt nean died at the beginning of the month. It was pretty sad, but anyway, I wanted to keep her obit. (kinda morbid?) from offline and here was the only lasting place I could think to put it so...
STARLING Ms. Alene Starling, “I have fought the good fight, I have kept the faith. I have finished my course,” age 88, passed from this life February 7, following an extended illness; Born in Wellborn, FL, on May 22, 1917, moved to Jacksonville in 1935. Preceded in death by her husband, Reverend Leroy Starling; Married August 28, 1937. Survivors include two sons, David Leroy Starling (Mavis) of Jacksonville and Ron Starling (Martha) of Gainesville, FL; two sisters, Belle Carver of Titusville, FL and Dot Lucas of McClenny, FL; four grandchildren, five great grandchildren and one great great grandchild. Viewing was held Friday 2/10/06 at TOWN & COUNTRY FUNERAL HOME, 7242 Normandy Blvd. from 5-9pm. Funeral Services will be held Saturday 2/11/06 at 10am at Blanding Blvd. Baptist Church, 5005 Blanding Blvd. Burial to follow in Riverside Memorial Cemetery. |
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| For Aimee |
[Feb. 9th, 2006|06:32 pm] |
Hey Aimee - its a quiz about MY future husband....
Which John Cusack Movie are you?
| Your Life is Like | 
Better Off Dead... |
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| the piano has been drinking... not me |
[Jan. 18th, 2006|02:32 am] |
Just wanted to say hello, tiny update....
I love my classes this semester, I've only got Tuesday Thursday classes and I only have 5 class meetings a week! I love my 4 day weekends, though I'm working days now at the CLC. I'm making plans for graduation and life-there after, but nothing concrete yet.
Still love my job, we're getting Harry Potter 4 at the end of the month! I'm very excited.
Got randomly drawn into the Dukes of Hazzard tv show, I cant really explain that one, oh wait... yeah I can.... Bo Duke
Elijah's doing good, he's getting so big but he's still a little sweetheart.
Saw Brokeback Mountain today. I cried. I thought it was beautiful, I think I want to read the book.
I turn 22 on Friday. No reason to celebrate there, this is the one birthday where I get punished for aging. I'm getting kicked off my parents health and life insurance policies. So I hope I dont get sick or die before I get a job with benefits. Cross your fingers. |
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| a girl named happiness |
[Dec. 6th, 2005|11:34 pm] |
Still oh so very happy! I thought I'd share the wealth, hope this brings you back and makes you smile:
"Happy Happy Joy Joy" from Ren & Stimpy
Hello, boys and girls. This is your old pal, Stinky Weaselteats. This is a song about a whale. No! This is a song about being happy!
That's right! It's the Happy Happy Joy Joy song!
[chorus]
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Happy Happy Joy Joy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy!
I don't think you're happy enough! That's right! I'll teach you to
be happy! I'll teach your grandmother to suck eggs! Now, boys and
girls, let's try it again!
[chorus]
If'n you aint the grandaddy of all liars! The little critters of
nature... They don't know that they're ugly! That's very funny, a
fly marrying a bumblebee! I told you I'd shoot! But you didn't
believe me! Why didn't you believe me?!
[chorus without last line]
Happy Happy Happy Happy
Happy Happy Happy Happy
Happy Happy Joy Joy Joy! |
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| made in Thailand |
[Dec. 2nd, 2005|04:02 pm] |
Some of you know, some of you dont, but about a month ago I quit Blockbuster. I got another job at Challenger learning center downtown and I love it, its the best job ever. Well, today I got a call from the district manager of Blockbuster video, pretty much begging me to come back to blockbuster. He was willing to offer all sorts of things, including something I've wanted for a long time. Of course I turned him down. I love my new job to much. Most of the people are awesome, I get to work with kids, watch movies and planetarium shows. Hardly anyone ever goes there so I rarely have to help customers. Shifts run about 6 hours long and during that, I probably do an honest hour of work. The rest of the time I sit around, I read books (I'm almost through my second already), I bring my books and do school work, I can bring my computer and play around on it, and I also just sit around and shoot the breeze with my co-workers. Best of all- we have a tv, so we can watch cable prime time. We watch movies and tv shows and I get to watch my hockey team play when I'm not at home. Its awesome that I get to do that, cause I get heavy withdrawels if I'm not watching my team when they're playing. And we have a gift shop with cool toys, so I get to play with those. And I'm learing all sorts of things about space - astronomy and such. Did you know that the moon is 216, 096 miles away? See, I'm learning. My life honestly couldnt get any better right now, I'm happier than I've been in years and I love my life.
Switching topics, I might have found what I want to do when I graduate. I think I want to get into forensic science. I havent decided if I want to do blood analysis, finger-print analysis, or be a ballistics expert (most of you dont know how much I love guns) but if all goes to plan, when I graduate in about 4 months (ah, and yay) I might be moving to Miami and making a killer starting salary. So I'm pretty psyched about the direction my life is taking.
One negative in my life at the moment, I think I might have to spring for a new computer. I had alot of trouble with it about 3 weeks ago, then I got a new harddrive and started fresh. It worked fine until about 2 days ago, when my cat decided it would be cool if he knocked the computer off of the table. It worked fine for a few hours after that, but - in the middle of a 5 paper- it decided to die and I cant get it to load at all. So right now I'm working off of my stock drive, which is a crap drive and even it is starting to screw up like the other one. I'm not sure how thats going to turn out but I'm crossing my fingers.
All right, thats all for now (and knowing me lately, probably a while) so everyone take care and Happy Holidays! |
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| just wanted to say.... |
[Oct. 26th, 2005|01:11 am] |
Never saw it coming
All of your backstabbing
Just so you could cash in
On a good thing before I realized your game
I heard you're going round
Playing the victim now
But don't even begin
Feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave |
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| hatred is draining |
[Oct. 25th, 2005|12:51 am] |
Update coming in the next few days or so. Also, I was considering making this friends only, cause I've held back writing my thoughts because certain people would read them. I dont want to do that, edit myself. So.... that being said, I deleted a few "friends" from my list, so expect mainly 'friends only' posts for a while. I'm completely shutting the book on a major portion of what was my life- deleting friends, deleting sns, destroying pictures, destroying memories if I can. That part of my life is over and I never want to think of it again because I never again want to feel that hatred. Hate is a tiresome thing and I want to destroy it from within myself, and the only way to do that is to start fresh, out with the old, in with the new so they say.
One other thing....
I want to say thank you to someone, well 2 people, because without them I wouldnt be starting over like I am. I also wouldnt be as unbelievably happy as I am. They didnt do it intentionally and in fact did it in very indirect ways, but nonetheless I was pushed and pushed hard, in the direction I am now heading. |
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| There’s nothin sweeter than an empty day |
[Oct. 6th, 2005|12:21 am] |
So here's my real update.....
- Life has been fairly sweet lately. I'm in a good place.
- Classes are going well, I'll have no problem graduating in the spring.
- Hockey's back! The Lightening won tonight 5-2 against Carolina. The Stars also won 5-4 against LA, so both my teams are winners!
Rick and his roommate Jason came over to watch Center Ice. Ricks team lost but it was close.
- Elijah might have to have two teeth pulled if they dont fall out in the next month.
- Parents are coming in town on Friday, along with my brother. We're going to the game on Saturday, should be fun. Its been a long time since we've done anything like that with the whole family there, Justins normally gone.
- Chris keeps asking me to go away with him. He wanted me to go to Boston last month and now he wants to take me on a trip to Tampa or something. I hope he's not actually serious about us getting married.
- My computer had a meltdown last week. It randomly lost its operating system and there was no way I could fix it, it wouldnt let me load XP again or run a repair console. So the company where I bought my harddrive at sent me another one for free. So here I am again.
- So lately I've been thinking alot about whats going to happen when I graduate. If I get the job that I want I'm going to have to start completely fresh in a brand new city. I'll know noone. Thats kind of exciting but a little intimidating as well. I'm ready to get out of Tally and leave pretty much everything and everyone behind. I cant wait to leave certain people in my dust and never see their faces again. But, such as it is, I've got a few more months to suffer through before that can happen.
- I've been getting into a new singer, her name is Alexz Johnson. She's got a great song that you can listen to .... SKIN.
Skin
Alexz Johnson
I drift away to a place
Another kind of life
Take away the pain
I create my paradise
Everything I’ve held
Has hit the wall
What used to be yours
Isn’t yours at all
Falling apart, and all that I’m asking
Is it a crime, am I overreacting
Oh, he’s under my skin
Just give me something to get rid of him
I’ve got a reason now to bury this alive
Another little white lie
What you had didn’t fit
Among the pretty things
But never fear, never fear
I now know where you’ve been
Braids have been un-tied
His ribbons fall away
Leave the consequence
But my tears you’ll taste
Falling apart and all that I question
Is this a dream or is this my lesson
Oh, he’s under my skin
Just give me something to get rid of him
I’ve got a reason now to bury this alive
Another little white lie
I don’t believe I’ll be alright
I don’t believe I’ll be ok
I don’t believe how you've thrown me away
I do believe you didn’t try
I do blame you for every lie
When I look in your eyes, I don’t see mine
Oh my permission to sin
You might have started my reckoning
I’ve got a reason now to bury him alive
Another little white lie |
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| his ribbons fall away |
[Oct. 2nd, 2005|11:51 pm] |
Its been a while I know. I'm still alive and doing fine. A real update coming soon... maybe... until then....
I wont deny, I faked it
don’t wanna lie, I’m jaded
I wanna scream, Inside I’m breaking down
I’ve left the stone, I was under
I’m running home, you won’t find her
She walks alone, all through this broken town
I’ll blow away these ashes
I’ll clear his face to look at it
He stole my name, while I wait in lost and found
I found a place, where I’ll keep you
Cause I won’t live through you or beneath you
I’ll walk this way, where these winds wont bring me down |
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| its slipping through my hands |
[Aug. 5th, 2005|11:17 pm] |
I feel like I'm losing everyone, all in one fail swoop.
Ian's moving back to OP, so I'll probably never see him again. In a way thats good it'll help me get over him, but at the same time it hurts because its so final. I've known for a long time that I would never get him back, but I'm really forced to face it now that I'm losing him forever. He leaves tomorrow.
Two of my favorite people at work are moving out of town as well.
A couple other friends graduated this summer and are gone. And a couple left after the spring was over a couple months ago. Two of my best friends from freshman year are gone.
The numbers are dwindling dramatically around here. But, on the other hand I guess it opens up room for new people to come in to my life, or at least I can choose to look at it that way. I just hate the struggle of finding those new people. |
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| its funny, the things that change you |
[Jul. 22nd, 2005|02:17 am] |
| [ | jamming to |
| | Bob Dylan- Hurricane | ] |
I've been in a good place lately. I've been happy, content, and best of all at peace. I've learned some things about myself over the past week, due to certain events, and while they're not exactly good things they help explain the state of things in my life.
I've pretty much decided not to see my father or grandfather when they roll into Jacksonville in a few weeks. And thats all I'm gonna say on that matter, other than I've realized that I dont need to see Rick ever again. It wont solve anything.
And... hell yeah, hockey's back on for next season!!!!!!!!! |
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| sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven |
[Jul. 13th, 2005|12:54 am] |
| [ | I feel |
| |  stressed | ] |
| [ | jamming to |
| | led zepplin - stairway to heaven | ] |
I've got a really big decision facing me. My real father is coming to Florida in the beginning of August. He's expressed interest in seeing me. I dont really want to but he played the "this might be the last chance we have to see each other" card. So now I'm wondering, despite the fact that I dont want to, if I should anyway. I seriously doubt it'll help me forgive him for everything that he's done, I think it'll probably just bring me more pain. I havent seen my father in almost 10 years, and I dont know what seeing him again would be like. But at the same time, it seems like the events of the past two years have been leading to this. Most of my life he's been completely absent, a distant memory. Only within the past few years has he made any contact whatsoever. Two years ago this fall I wrote him , telling him how I felt, how much he hurt me. He claims he wrote me back but it was lost in the mail. So much has been dredged up the past couple years, and maybe this is my chance to end it all. But at the same time, I just want to forget about him completely and I dont know if I'll be able to just put him behind me if I go see him. Not only that, but his father will be with him. The notorious Norm. That man is insufferable. Two minutes with him makes me want to pull out my hair. I dont know what to do.
I've also got a lot of other stuff on my mind. There's too much stress in my life right now. I get sick to my stomach when I think of all the things going on. Some things are really bad, some things are really good (but could turn bad real quick). Well, really theres only one really positive thing and I'm not even sure how real it is. It could be all in my head. Good thing I have my kitten to cheer me up : ] ♥ |
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